You may be a really great lover and you might have a rock’n sex life.  You might be committed to co-creating this with your present or future partner.  Wherever you are at, what benefits our intimate unions is us 1) choosing to be committed to them being great, 2) being open & communicative with our partners, and then 3) being intentional about keeping that momentum of love, intimacy & sexy connecting going strong.

Like a car needs gas to run, our sex lives need regular fuel.

There usually comes a time in every relationship when most lovers ask: what’s next?  How can I spice up our sex life?  What can I do to keep her happy, satisfied and wanting me? Or have her want sex more often?  The internet is full of both good & bad ideas.  What I want is for you to get that spice is nice, but having her see stars and experience a deep cosmic connection and oneness is what’s gonna have you and your lady have a life of super high vibrations.

Let me share a really great secret with you: women have unlimited, untapped, life-times of pleasure centres & mystical journeys for you to mine.  What’s more: women are capable of seeing – and actually being a part of – the all expansive, colour-filled, never ending fuck’n cosmos!  That’s right.  When we orgasm we can go THERE. (If you or your lover haven’t experienced this, I would encourage you to contact me).   And yes, men get to experience this too, albeit differently

Not all women are connected to their yoni as being a magical gateway to the infinite.  And we women can visually see and experience being at one with the infinite cosmos as colour and light explode and expand through our third eye, brain, and body.  And YOU get to bring her there!  Regardless of your gender, one of the most evolved and connected you can get is when you are granted the opportunity to rebirth the mystical power & beauty of the Divine Feminine in your female partner.  Master this tantric practice and you’ll experience an intimacy of your deepest, sweetest desires & fantasies.

Below is a very basic, sequential “how to” on how to elicit this magical orgasmic experience with your lady partner.  For those interested, I am available for consultation on any of these practices.

1. Plan, prepare and set the mood …

You want to support your lady coming into her Goddess self.  A woman can always “choose” to take her seat as a Goddess, and it can take some presencing.  Facilitate this process by setting up an uninterrupted date time that works for both of you. Over the day, send some sweet & sexy texts.  Tell her what you love about her.  Get her really present to your desire and your appreciation of her as a Goddess.  This softens her.  Take care of the little life things: food, home etc..  Don’t ask, just DO.  (You can inform as a way of checking in if needed).  When you get together, actively listen to whatever she needs to talk about/talk through.  Allow her space to talk out/dump whatever is in her space, this will get her mentally, spiritually, and emotionally free, so she can be open & present.  Set the mood of the room & space to be one that is opening to the mystical.  Clean sheets, candles, a well aired, incense-scented room, and relaxing and evocative music.  Check out “Breath of Ma” from Shamans Dream on Soundcloud.   For those versed in tantric meditations, ceremony, and spiritual practices please include those now.

2. Take her to bed, lie down beside her and start connecting …

Slowly stroke her face, her hair, her arms.  Take her in and appreciate her.  Tell her what you love about her.  Praise her interior and exterior beauty.  Love her with your words and touch.  Soften her.  Take more time than you normally would.  As in, wayyyy more time.  Connect to her Divine Feminine and have HER get connected to her Divine Feminine.

3. Be intentional: put 100% of your attention on her & her pleasure for the entire time …

Be absolutely generous.   This time it’s not about sex or fucking or you.  At all.  This is sensual, love-making time.  You are going to worship at the temple of a Goddess, facilitate her seeing stars, feel the cosmic energy of the universe flowing and bursting through her mind & body.  You are going to be the one to connect her to her Goddess self.  You are receiving the gift of being present to something that is frick’n amazing.  So presence generosity and intention and leave all ego at the door.

4. Get connected to her body movements, rhythms, and breath …

Like really, get over there with her.  Watch her body, her movements, dance with them.  Start to breathe with her.

5. Touch and stroke her body as it moves & dances under your hands & mouth …

You’re connected now so just flow with her movements.  Start to kiss her softly, gently, slowly.  From her temples to her neck, all along her arms, kiss every little crevice, slowly and very softly (no pressure or intensity).  Kiss her entire body, from her head to her toes, lingering where she moans and offers herself to you.  Kiss her everywhere … except her pussy.  You want to warm her body and soul, her cells, her blood flowing in her veins, her inner desires, her heart and her highest self … and you want her kitten to be warming up & get to wanting.  Love her with your mouth and hands like there is no where to get, no destination, no end goal.

6. Talk to her …

What do you love about her? Get present and tell her.  Tell her how soft she is, how sexy her curves are, how beautiful she is, how her smells and scent draw you to her.  Maybe it’s the soft, strong curve of her top lip, tell her this as you trace it slowly, taking time to kiss her lips, then suck on them really softly.  Maybe you love her delicate, female hands and fingers, or the curves of her belly. Use your mouth and love them.  Maybe you love her grace, her heart, her sexy mind.   Praise her with sexy, loving words as you kiss and trace all of her body’s curves with your mouth and hands.  Go slowly with this.  Go slower than you think you can.  Use all of your body to touch her and give all of yourself.  Don’t hold back.

7. When she is fully relaxed, open, and becoming wanting begin to use your tongue as you kiss her …

Kiss and lick all of those curves and sweet spots.  She will curve her body toward you, move her pussy mound up and towards you, or move her hips and ass with more insistence, wanting your hands to stroke her round butt cheeks.  Her smile will change.  Her eyes will change.  Her breathing will deepen.  She may begin to moan a little louder.   Kiss and lick all of those curves and sweet spots as you use your hands to travel her body’s curves.

8. Slowly and softly find yourself at her inner thighs.

You can not spend enough time kissing and licking her inner thighs.  Then, slowly, kiss the outside of her pussy.  Kiss her inner thighs, lick up the crease of her inner thigh slowly, kiss the outside lips of her pussy and then, very gently, use your tongue to open them.  Take a long time to do this.  You are opening a flower.  Be delicate.  All this time, USE your hands.  Your hands have her feel safe.  Have them stroke her legs and inner thighs, have them softly hold her.  Use them and don’t stop.

9. You want to continue to talk to her …

You want to continue to open her.   Tell her how perfect she is, how sweet she smells, how gorgeous her lips and folds are, how much you love and adore her. Tell her what a Goddess she is, how lucky you are to get to worship her, how you’ve thought about her all day. Tell her she is gorgeous and sexy.  Tell her you love her if you love her.  Tell her how beautiful her sweet pussy is (or whatever you call her).  Whatever you authentically feel: tell her that.   She wants to hear what you really think, so say those vulnerable, heart-felt, tender, sexy things now.

10.  Continue to be in tune with her breathing and body movements …  

Flow with her.  Let her direct you.

11. Move in … kiss her clit very gently, begin to gently lick the lips of her clitoris and labia with your tongue

Move up.  Do not move up and then down: rather take the tongue and start from the bottom and move up, along one side of her labia, in long, soft, lingering licks.  Pick your tongue up and do it again on the other side. Take your time.  Find a rhythm with her breath and body movements.   Then gently circle her clit with your tongue and include kissing her.  Your hands are now gently holding her lips open.  Long kisses and long licks.  Slowly build the pressure.  Slowly add licking her clit.   Slowly add massaging both sides of her labia, keeping to up strokes.

12.  When she is ready slowly put your index and middle fingers together and rest them at her entrance …

Do this as you continue to lick and kiss her, and as your other hand is resting on her inner thigh or holding her folds open.  If you use lubricant (I suggest coconut oil) have it beside you now.  Wet your fingers and lick the entrance to her pussy slowly.  Keep a little pressure at the very top of her clit with either your mouth or your other hand.  Let your 2 fingers linger at the entrance to her pussy, moving just a little in a way to invite them in.  Go slow.   Be very connected to her now:  watch her breathe and body movements carefully.  You want to be taking her to the edge, yet in no way denying her.

13.  G Spot bound: Gently and very slowly slide your fingers in an inch at a time …  

Keep doing all you are doing: talking to her, talking to her pussy as if it is the Goddess herself, licking her labia and clit, kissing her, and slowly entering her a little more at a time. At this point you want to increase the pressure, just a little, with your tongue and hand that is on the outside.  There is a sweet, treasure to be found inside of her – the g spot – and you are now going to find it.  When your fingers are almost all inside of her, palm up, have your fingers form a “come hither” position.  Reach up and forward.  Feel for the spot that is somewhat circular, larger than a quarter.  It actually feels a little different than the rest of her vagina wall.  When you find it, put a little pressure on it: you do this with the “come hither” motion, this looks like pressing up, towards her mound. Do this SLOWLY.

14. Gradually, increase the pressure.  Have your mouth, tongue, hands and body be equally intentional …

At this point she may be ready for you to take her up and into orgasm & the cosmos.  Be steady and unwavering.  In general, now is the time to be licking her clit very slowly but with a steady rhythm and pressure.  Remember, the clitoris reaches back and behind what you can see and you want to stimulate ALL of her clitoris.  A way to do this is have your other hand right put a little up and down motion and pressure just above her clit.   You may go a little faster with your tongue and your fingers, however, in general, for this orgasm, I find slow and steady does it best.  Leave the fast and rough for sex and fucking.  This is the point at which you are hopefully so in tune with her and her divinity that you will not feel your forearm cramping or your tongue muscles getting tired.  Ride her waves and do not stop.  Talk to her, talk to her pussy, talk to the Goddess.  Moan with her.  Hold her firm and solid underneath you.  She needs to be held.

15. As she begins to orgasm hold her very firmly into and through cresting wave of orgasm after cresting wave of orgasm and do not stop …

It is into this state that she will see the cosmos, not before.  Be intuitive and be strong.  She may want you to stop as it’s incredibly intense.  This can look like her closing her thighs like the jaws of life, her trembling or bucking, she may also be moaning or screaming really loudly, however, DO NOT STOP what you are doing.  Move with her.   Enjoy her hands gripping into your flesh or the back of your head.  Take it all and trust you are in tune with her, you are strong enough to handle this powerful Goddess and to continue to do what you are doing, hold her down while also moving with her, and take her through it.  There is no force in this, only strength.  All that connecting and loving with her prior to now is your foundation of strength and connection. This is what makes you a divine yourself: you are facilitating her going through a vaginal pleasure canal and into the cosmos of the universe. There is a difference between having 38 orgasms or ejaculations in a row, and one cresting over and over.  It’s the cresting over and over orgasm that has the cosmos explode in her head and in her lower spine.  This can last for awhile, depending on the woman, so just stay with it.

16. When she goes absolutely limp – not even a teeny tremor left in her – is when you stop …

Stop YET do not move.  She is still orgasming.  Hold her where you are: rest your hands and head exactly where you are and hold her, hold her, hold her.  Very slowly, when she cues you, take your fingers out of her.  Keep them resting against the length of her pussy, which will still be pulsing, for awhile.  She needs to feel strongly held and safe as she moves through this spiritual experience.  When she shifts, shift with her.  Place your hand firmly on her lower back and spine as soon as you can.  It will be in orgasm and needs holding too.  She may want you to hold her around her middle OR she may pull you up to be next and with her, to connect.  Hold her very close and strongly, chest to chest.  Let her be washed and filled with the stars of the galaxy for as long as that lasts – let her movements and speaking guide you.  Whatever she does now: she may have silent or vocal tears, she may laugh, she may speak, allow it all and just be with her.  Respond and let how she speaks guide how.  Talk from your heart and spirit.  Hold her very close.  Kiss her head, her cheeks, kiss her mouth if she moves hers to your lips.  Love her.  Pull the covers up, stay connected and remain mindful.  Go slow and don’t move until she does.  Be with her.  Don’t ask for anything.  Offer her water when she’s ready to move or just hold her as she drifts into sleep.  Thank the Universe for the gift of this beautiful woman and Goddess in your life, bless her, and love her.